Flying Beavers

Bella’s eyesight is not so good. Neither is her hearing. It comes with Usher syndrome and often creates some pretty interesting conversations. Take yesterday. I was sitting on the dock looking across the lake while Jack fished for trees and Bella stared at the dog through binoculars turned backwards. Suddenly there was this big ruckus from the opposite shore. Three bald eagles were having an argument, screeching and twisting and winding through the treetops.

As a quick aside, there was a time several years ago when I mentioned to Bella that a bald eagle was my favorite bird. It probably came during one of those twenty questions sessions when I had to name my favorite Spongebob character and pick my favorite number. Anyway, she’s never forgotten and every few months or so I receive some sort of bald eagle trinket from her; a keychain, a painting, a cutout from a magazine. Something like that. It was something special we shared. With her eyesight fading I was really excited that she had a chance to see one live, in it’s natural habitat, flying free.

I called her to come quickly with her binoculars so she could see the eagles. She scurried down to the dock as the eagles threatened to bolt to the horizon.

“Look at the eagles!” I said.

“Beagles? Where?”

“No, no. Eagles. Across the lake. Look quick.”

She squinted.

“With the binoculars!”

“Oh,” she raised the binoculars and started broadly scanning the horizon, “I don’t see them.”

“There,” I pointed, “Right there! Across the lake.”

“Where? In the water?”

“In the wa…? No! Eagles! Eagles! In the sky! Look over the treetops.”

“In the sky? You want me to look in the sky?”

“YES!! They’re eagles. Where else would they be? They’re right there…oh, wait. Their gone.”

“Oh,” said Bella, “Were they cute?”

Everything is scaled in cute with Bella.

“Yes,” I said, “They were cute bald eagles.”

“They were bald?!” she looked shocked.

“No, no,” I said, “Not really bald. They were bald eagles. You know, white heads, white tails,” I pantomimed big wings flapping, “you know, bald eagles.”

“Ohhh!” she said, a light going on, “I thought you said beavers. I thought you were joking about bald beavers flying above the trees.”

Yikes. Flying bald beavers. That’s a head slapper right there.

Now there are no eagles where we live so it was disappointing when she only saw invisible flying bald beavers. I kept my eyes on the skies, though, and later that evening I saw something circling above the trees again. I called to Bella who once again came running with her binoculars. I pointed out the shape floating lazily above the trees and this time, she focused right in.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s an eagle,” I said.

“No it’s not,” she replied.

I took another look. What I had believed to be an eagle circling on a breeze had remained stationary in the air. It also looked kind of rectangular. It was not an eagle.

“I think it’s a kite,” I said.

“I think it’s a plane,” said Bella.

“I think it’s an alien,” said Jack.

Given that the object floated above heavily wooded conservation land, I decided it seemed unlikely it was a kite. Where would they stand? It was all tall pines and no roads. It wasn’t bigger than a suitcase, so it wasn’t a plane. That left only alien on the table.

This was disconcerting when the object seemed to stagger then grow bigger. It was falling from the sky. It floated earthward, like a piece of paper dropped off a table. Within a moment of two it has splashed down on the surface of the lake near the opposite shore. Jack gathered up a second pair of binoculars and joined Bella in the search for answers. Julia appeared on the porch.

“Did you see that thing fall in the water?” she asked, “I think it’s space junk.”

“It’s an alien,” Jack replied.

“I think it’s a beaver!” Bella declared.

“It’s not a beaver,” I said.

“Yes it is,” said Bella, “It’s brown and it has a face.”

“Aliens have faces!” said Jack excitedly.

“It doesn’t have a face,” I said.

“Yes it does,” said Jack, “Wait. It’s not an alien. Bella’s right. It’s a beaver.”

“It’s not a beaver!”

“Whatever it is, it’s swimming this way,” said Julia.

She was right. It was moving across the lake in a straight line aimed right at our cabin.

I squinted and mumbled, “What is that?”

“Beaver,” said Bella.

“Beaver,” said Jack.

“I think it’s a beaver,” said Julia.

“Right,” I spit, “It’s a sky diving beaver. Maybe he’s part of an invasion force.”

“Well what else could it be?” asked Julia, as if flying commando beaver was the most obvious answer.

“It’s got something red,” said Jack.

“That’s it mouth,” said Bella.

“Wow. That’s a big mouth,” said Jack.

“It’s still coming right at us,” Julia said nervously.

I’d had enough. “That’s it, we’re getting the kayak and rowing out there.”

We ran up to the house and put on our life vests, snapping the straps with a purpose like a movie hero gearing for battle. There was a hint of tension, a tinge of apprehension in the air. Julia protested that the kids should stay on shore where it’s safe from the skydiving alien commando beaver with the giant mouth. I said it was coming for us anyway. Better to row out and meet it on our terms. To make her feel better I promised to club it with my oar Jimmy Carter style if it threatened to attack.

Bella and I took the two person kayak. Jack followed in a single person, careful to stay close to us but not too close. You know, it case the alien commando beaver attacked.

We rowed out to meet the invader. It never flinched off it’s course as we set out, never veered from the threat. It came right at us with a singular purpose. We drew closer and closer. The kids chattered nervously. Julia called a barrage of ‘be carefuls’ from the porch. The attacker began to take shape. It was indeed brown and about the size of a beaver. And it had a face! It really did. And it was carrying something red. Oh my God! It’s….it’s…it’s…

A semi-deflated monkey balloon. More specifically, it was a balloon shaped like a smiling monkey carrying a red valentine heart that read “I love you’. In other words, it was a love monkey from outer space and those are even rarer than eagles.

So things turned out pretty good in the end. Bella and I didn’t share the sight of a majestic eagle in flight. We shared something even better.