Trans Fat

I spend most of my life trying to lose weight. At least three times a day I feel guilty about what I’m about to eat. Then I eat it anyway and promise myself that the next meal will go better. For a glimpse in to several months of this, click here to check out the blog our family did for a recent fundraising road race for the Decibels Foundation. We were told it would help us raise money if we gave people some insight to our (cough, cough) training regimen. What a mistake that was. We survived the race but our egos were forever squashed by the utter futility of the effort. It made for humorous reading, however, so it’s worth checking out.

The point is I eat poorly. I like junk food and I have a sweet tooth that would kill a hummingbird. The biggest problem, though, is that I eat as a coping mechanism. And since I have a child with Usher syndrome, my life is about coping. In fact, I coped an entire bag of Garden Salsa Sun Chips and a giant bowl of sherbet for lunch yesterday. I had a sandwich, too, of course. I do eat healthy food at each meal. I just enhance it with mountains of coping.

My greatest fear is that I’ll drop dead, a hoagie clogging my arteries, just before there is a cure for Bella’s eyesight. Now I worry not only about her vision but also about my belly. That only adds to my anxiety and my prolific, um, coping.

My latest method to combat my rampant coping is to write down everything I eat. So expect culinary updates on occasion and, unfortunately, expect them to involve Little Debbies snack cakes.